Tuesdays with Market

Il Bistro is quintessential Market - dimly lit, hidden, and cheap at happy hour. We gorged ourselves in style at this classic Market haunt beneath the pig and steps from the gum wall. For a mere $50 (including tax and tip) you can get crostini with goat cheese and roasted garlic, crostini with sausage and peppers, seared calamari in a rich tomato broth, mixed antipasti (cheese, olives, salumi), mushroom ravioli, rigatoni with meat sauce, a couple of beers, two glasses of wine, and some bread to sop up the sauces and soak up your drinks. All of the food was better than good. Not amazing, but certainly tasty. The dry spice garnish used for the ravioli was slightly off-putting, but the cream sauce made up for it. The pasta was almost too al dente. I personally wouldn't be bold enough to serve it that way, for fear I would be accused of under-cooking, but we enjoyed it. And, Let's face it, you don't go to a candlelit Italian restaurant in an out-of-the-way corner of the Market for the food. You go there for the atmosphere. Il Bistro has atmosphere in spades. From its warm red glow, to its marble table tops, to its wood bar, this is someplace you bring a date. Plus, from 5-6:30 p.m., it's some place you can afford to bring a date, even during a recession. The are going to be at least a few more months of cold weather and bad economic news. Find yourself someone special, take the steps just past the pig, and indulge.

Pub Crawl

Bal Mar sucks. Perhaps that's being a bit harsh. It has some good aspects. The atmosphere is swanky, velvet, and dark, more NY than Ballard. The soundtrack is jazz. And the happy hour menu (5-7pm) is cheap. But the food isn't worth even the $5-$8 you're paying for it. We went there for my birthday and were extremely disappointed. The satay came with a disgusting, thick, and frighteningly un-nutty "peanut" sauce. The calamari was rubbery, under-seasoned, and came with a sauce that was barely distinguishable from its "peanut" cousin and equally unpalatable. Even the fries were bad. First of all, they were billed as "shoestring," but were actually quite thick, more commonly referred to as steak fries (pictured at right). If the lack of adjectival accuracy wasn't enough, the fries were unsalted. That's right. We are not convinced that there was any salt on these fries. There was, however, a shocking amount of paprika dumped on them. Paprika has no flavor. It gave the fries a red color and floury texture. Not good. Luckily, our next stop was Sunset Bowl, where the food has plenty of salt and fat to accompany their bowling pin shaped beer bottles. So, if you're looking to dress up for happy hour, you can get a swanky cocktail at the Bal Mar for $6 or a beer for $3. But steer clear of the food, unless you're on flavor-free diet.

Tuesdays with Market

Zig Zag Cafe - This place has a great atmosphere. It's in the hidden Hill Climb portion of the Market, right next to El Puerco Lloron, but much tastier and cleaner than its neighbor. It's dark, but not too dark, and you can tell just by looking at the well-stocked bar that they mix a mean cocktail. But it was happy hour, a good selection of draft microbrews could be had for a mere $3, and we just couldn't get past the Maritime IPA. We did, however, fully explore the food specials, ordering one of everything off the happy hour menu. The results were mixed. The calamari was tender and pleasantly unfried, served in a tasty marinade that likely had a bit of balsamic to it. The prawns were also pretty good and similarly prepared. The mixed olives were delicious and the pizza, while not the best we've ever had, was damn good for happy hour! But the bruschetta just didn't do it for us. First, no one should be serving bruschetta until some local tomatoes have ripened. These tomatoes had no taste. Second, who makes bruschetta with whole wheat bread? Third, if you're going to use whole wheat bread, at least have the decency to slather it with olive oil. There was something just too healthy about this dry wheaty bruschetta and no one really wants healthy happy hour food. But with everything on the menu at $5 or less, we really can't complain. We definitely recommend this place if your looking for a cheap but swanky happy hour location. And leading your date through the belly of the Market to get to this spot will make you look very in the know.

Pub Crawl

On Old Ballard Ave, happy hour lasts 4 hours. That's right, just one more reason living in Ballard kicks ass. We started our night early at the Matador (happy hour 4-6) and, as far we're concerned, that's the only time to go. Technically the place has an early and a late happy hour, but there's nothing happy about jostling for position with a bunch of drunken hispsters to get a table late night. At 5:30 on a Saturday night, you can walk right up to the bar, order a couple of drinks and tuck into their $4 appetizers (another not so happy fact about this bar: no drink specials). We had the wings and the southwest eggrolls (better than they sound, but nothing to write home about). The real reason to hit the Matador is the atmosphere. On a chilly Ballard night, nothing beats getting a seat by their blazing fire . . . except maybe a hot buttered rum at Hattie's Hat - the next stop on our 4 hour tour (happy hour 'till 7pm) - this bar makes some mean winter cocktails. We watched as the bar tender expertly made the afore mentioned little bit of heaven and hot toddies, guaranteed to knock the chill right out of your bones. Then it was on to King's Hardware, where, to our surprise and delight, we discovered that happy hour was from 6-8, and involved both drink and food specials. Never ones to pass up cheap food and booze, we ordered the discounted beers and the sliders ($4.50 for 3 perfect little hamburgers with all the fixins, garnished with American flags - like 4th of July exploding greasily in your mouth). King's also distinguishes itself by having a jukebox (which we made us of) and skee ball (which we decided was best saved for a subsequent night). Bottom line: If you're looking to get full and buzzed for cheap, come to Ballard, where the snacks are cheap and the hot toddies flow like water.

Tuesdays with Market

Pike Place Bar & Grill - You don't come here for the food. If you are anything like us, you come here when the sausage shop is closed, when the soul food stand is closed, when all the cheaper stalls have locked up for the night and fine dining is not in this week's budget. You come here for happy hour, $3 microbrews and $4 bar food, in an atmosphere both divey and picturesque, looking out over the public market sign bedecked in Christmas finery, it's bright pink neon pigs ablaze. You order 2 Maritime hefeweizens that turn into four. You get the shrimp cocktail that involves a mound of surprisingly small shrimp, but before you can be disappointed you taste the cocktail sauce, redolent of horseradish, and smile. You get the mussels and clams steamed in white wine and butter and pay $1.75 extra for garlic bread to soak up the sauce. You make a rule never to order mussels and clams again if you can't fix a purveyor of the bivalves in your sites; You've been burned before. But not here. Not here staring directly down into Pure Fish, not here, right over Jack's Fish Spot. Here the shellfish are fresh and garlicky and you lap them up. You order mozzarella sticks, because you can. You know they come straight from a box in the freezer, but you don't care as you munch on their deep fried goodness and think of county fairs on the East Coast. You don't come here for the food, but it's still pretty good, and it only costs the two of you $25.