Fair Fare

We have finally "done" the Puyallup Fair and got the t-shirts to prove it. The fair is over 100 years old and far exceeded all our expectations. We'd read a few articles and gotten some advice from friends, but nothing prepared us for the sheer size of the fair. It's massive. Being from RI, I don't think a fair this big would have fit in my home state. We tried to do all the obligatory eating. We started off with a couple of Krusty Pups (pictured) and declared them better by far than the ordinary corn dogs of our youth. We made the mistake of wandering into the livestock barns with Krusty Pups in hand before noticing the "No Eating in the Barns" signs. Luckily, we avoided the major faux pas of checking out the swine while nibbling on their relatives. In need of a frosty beverage, we split a disappointing (and misnamed) "root beer float." It was nothing more than a 75 cent scoop of low-quality vanilla ice cream and a $3 bottle of Dr. Pepper, which is technically not even root beer. Having been so disappointed, we decided that only a real beer would cheer us up. It took us a long time to locate the sole beer garden in the sea of elephant ear, scone, and burger vendors, but find it we did. This is clearly not a drinking sort of fair. The selection was slim and the prices were high. After two $9 beers it was time to move on. Thus fortified, we headed to the ferris wheel. It gave us a pretty good view of of the attractions, but somehow we managed to just say no to all sorts of take-you-up-very-high-and-drop-you-for-fun rides. Post-ferris wheel, we needed to kill twenty minutes before heading over to check out the mutton bustin'. We tried to spend our time non-calorically, but the Clydesdale driving show wasn't accepting any more spectators and 4-H show cats can only hold one's interest for so long. Consequently, we were forced to split a Bernie Burger. Alas, the only thing special about this patty was its name. We'd heard there are some amazing burgers at the fair, but this wasn't one of those. Then we checked out the mutton bustin' (pictured) and were thoroughly amused by the spectacle of children not yet old enough for compulsory schooling trying to ride a sheep for 6 seconds. We're glad that neither CPS nor PETA has shut this event down yet, but we weren't totally convinced that the helmets worn by these mini cowgirls and boys really made things totally danger-free. Mutton bustin' is a hard act to follow, so we decided it was time to get a couple of t-shirts and head home. Someone had told us that we should pick up a couple of scones for the next day's breakfast and we decided to heed their advice. What we didn't realize was that the scones are served piping hot and stuffed with butter and jam. Screw breakfast! We ate them immediately (as they were no doubt intended to be eaten) and rolled ourselves home.
We will definitely be returning to the fair next year, so if any of our readers have any advice on things we should have eaten or events we should have gone to, please comment!